Charter of Consultants Rights

it’s Friday, let me joke a little bit 😉

Article 1

Consultants are Human. They need resting, sleeping, laughing, eating, water etc… as any other person. They sometimes need to use the toilet.

They are free not to take their phone with when using wc.

Article 2

Consultants are people with many clients and just one salary.

Thus, if you are a client, consider you are not the only one and please don’t bug consultants as if their income were comparable with Paris Hilton ones.

Article 3

Consultants are consultants for a good reason, not for pleasure.

If your company has not hired them it’s probably because they are not vital for you.

 Article 4

Consultants have the right of security. Do not keep calling their phone on Friday late evening, they are probably driving home and they may not find the earphone for safely answering you.

 Article 5

No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment.

Keeping consultants in a cold in winter/hot in summer dirty room keeping PC on they knees and sharing a 2mq table with other 16 consultants can be somehow considered as a torture.

 Article 6

Consultants did not find a genius who gave them the grace of omniscience.

There could probably be something they need to check and get back to you later. If it weren’t so they would  probably be finding a cancer’s cure or something.

 Article 7

Consultants are not rich and what you pay to their firm is not exactely their salary.

Not even similar.

Much much much smaller.

If it were so, after two years they would have probably quit their job to open a bar at Copacabana beach.

 Article 8

All are equal before the law and in front of the coffee machine.

It is not strictly mandatory  you can avoid the queue just because you are the customer.

 Article 9

Consultants stay in office till late, right. But not for entertaining. They do not play softball, or ping pong on client’s desks when everybody is at home.

They are not gaming on the Internet when the net load is low, nor they are addicted to have a cold pizza on dirty table.

You are not allowed to add extra work after the normal working time.

 Article 10

Consultants are professional guys.

If you think you would perform better, then why don’t you quit your job and start consulting as well?

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